The Value of Journaling

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One of the spiritual exercises that can assist our spiritual growth and our counselee’s progress is journaling.

I often recommend that the client get an inexpensive notebook and experiment with some journaling. (This is not an assignment or obligation, but could leverage the value of the counseling process.) For example, he/she could jot down main points gleaned from their homework, insights from their Bible reading, questions arising from their process, and personal applications.

Mark and John discuss this topic with practical suggestions in Episode 93 of the Glimpses of Grace audio podcast.

A few years ago, P. J. Clark was our guest on a webinar. She shared how journaling was a benefit in her appropriation of Christ as Life. She authored a book about what she has learned: The Art and Soul of Journaling. Here is the webinar video:

If a client needs a simple guide to get started with some basic journaling, you could give them a copy of SOAP. This is an acronym for writing about:

  • Scripture
  • Observation
  • Application and
  • Prayer

You can download the PDF instruction page here.

In one oof our monthly coaching meetings, Anita A shared about how she has used the SOAP approach for small group ladies devotional meetings. She noted:

SOAP Journaling:

  • Encourages a focus on Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-3). It is a daily reminder to keep re-focusing on His presence. As we are being transformed into His image, we are being transformed (2 Corinthians 3:17-18), and the SOAP Journaling technique reveals Jesus’ qualities that are desirable.
  • The Holy Spirit will illuminate and personalize a special verse, word, truth that will encourage and/or give direction for the day, hope for the heart
  • Sitting with your Bible, a pen and journal encourages the “stillness” and focus we need when learning.

As a small group activity this blesses us:

  • The simplicity of reading God’s word – you don’t need to buy more scholarly books! You don’t need to spend more money, the Spirit says “Come.”
  • In our small group everyone shares what is revealed in their quiet moment and we learn from each other what is revealed.
  • New believers are able to follow along, contribute and not overwhelmed by so much information; it becomes personalized.
  • Many believers struggle to implement personal Bible reading and prayer time, so this is a pattern that will encourage new reading and listening habits.
  • Some folks have a learning style where they need to learn alongside someone else. This is a great tool when discipling an individual who has a social learning style.
  • It’s a perfect context for anyone who experiences loneliness!

If you have additional tips or testimonies, please share them with us.

“I will stand my watch
And set myself on the rampart,
And watch to see what He will say to me,
And what I will answer when I am corrected.
Then the Lord answered me and said:
‘Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it…'” Hab. 2:1,2

JBW

Soul Care: Guidelines from Galatians

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One of the most explicit soul care passages about soul care ministry in the New Testament is Galatians 6:1-5.

“1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. 5 For each one shall bear his own load.”(NKJV)

I wrote this brief expository outline. Feel free to adapt, apply, and teach it.

Guidelines for Soul Care Ministry

A. Responsibilities to fulfill

  1. Assist the defeated. “if a man is overtaken” v. 1
  2. Restore the wayward. “in any trespass … restore such a one” v. 1
  3. Give compassionate help. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” v. 2
  4. Evaluate your ministry. “But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.” v. 4

B. Virtues to cultivate

  1. Be spiritual. “you who are spiritual” v. 1
  2. Be gentle. “in a spirit of gentleness” v. 1
  3. Be cautious. “considering yourself lest you also be tempted” v. 1

C. Faults to avoid

  1. Pride. “For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” v. 3
  2. Codependency. “For each one shall bear his own load.” v. 5

Helpers can carry out this ministry only through God’s enablement and guidance. We offer biblical soul care as we walk in the Spirit, are led by the Spirit, and bear the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:16, 18, 22,23).

______________

JBW

Biblical Guidance for Those Dealing with Same-Sex Attraction

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This post cannot deal with all the psychological, physical, ethical, spiritual, and (potentially) legal issues related to a Christian/Biblical view of same-sex attraction and homosexuality. Rather it is for Christ-centered disciplers/counselors who have professing Christian clients with unwanted same-sex attraction or see themselves as gay or lesbian.

Exchanged Life Counseling with a “four phases” pattern of ministry has been used of the Lord to deliver those struggling with LGBTQ+.issues.[1] Some clients have tried other means of counseling ranging from psychotherapy to a Bible admonition emphasis.

Some Relevant points for an Exchanged Life Counseling process:

  • One’s version of the flesh—whether heterosexual or homosexual—is not a basis for essential identity. Although in our flesh dwells no good thing (Rom. 7:18), the born again Christian is a new creation spiritually (2 Cor. 5:17) and delights in the law of God in the inner person (Rom 7:22).
  • Through the believer’s co-death and co-resurrection, he/she is free from sin’s authority (Rom 6:6-23) and not only has a new future, but also has new [spiritual] past.[2]
  • The freedom in Christ process includes liberation from false beliefs related to gender identity and sexual intent (John 8:32; 2 Cor 10:3-5). Healing prayer can have a special role in ministering to hurts and lies that are at a subconscious level.[3]
  • Restoring one’s emotions is usually and ongoing process as the Holy Spirit renews the mind and restores the soul.
  • Sanctification is from the Holy Spirit, by grace, through faith. Therefore personal change does not depend on self-effort and reprogramming the flesh, but allowing Christ to Life His life through us (Gal. 2:20,21).
  • Billy Graham said it well: “It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge, and my job to love.”

Testimony Videos

Documentary / Testimonial Movies

Download this video free at https://www.journeyinterrupted.com/shop
______________

You may not know the artist [above], but you will recognize the music. Dennis has penned songs that are sung in churches and worship gatherings over the entire world. You may recognize You Are My All In All, Thank You, Who Can Satisfy My Soul (There Is A Fountain), I Belong to Jesus, We Will Worship the Lamb of Glory, and many others. Dennis Jernigan is a worship leader, song receiver, and author, but more importantly, he is a husband and father. Married for 42 years to Melinda, they have nine children and make their home in Muskogee, Oklahoma where they enjoy their 13 grandchildren.

Dennis has been walking in freedom from his former homosexual identity since November 7, 1981. Dennis takes great joy in sharing the grace and love of God with any who desire freedom in their own lives.
–https://dennisjernigan.com/about

__________

Direct Christian Counsel

Critical Conversations: A Christian Parents’ Guide to Discussing Homosexuality with Teens, by Tom Gilson (book, Kregel Publications)

Cultural Institute: The Bible and Homosexuality Series, by Dr. Robert Gagnon
(DVD 2 volumes) https://resources.afa.net/search?q=homosexuality

Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook: Providing Biblical Hope and Practical Help for 50 Everyday Problems (Harvest House) by June Hunt (ch. 25)

Healing Homosexuality, by Lean Payne (Baker Books)

The Broken Image: Restoring Personal Wholeness Through Healing Prayer, by Leanne Payne (Baker Books) https://ministriesofpastoralcare.com/

Testimonial Books

A Change of Affection: A Gay Man’s Incredible Story of Redemption, by Becket Cook. (Chapter 13 includes the author’s guidance for friends and relatives; paperback, Kindle ebook, and audiobook)

Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son’s Journey to God. A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope.
by Christopher Yuan, Angela Yuan. (paperback, Kindle ebook, and audiobook)

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield. (paperback, Kindle ebook, and audiobook)

https://www.restoredhopenetwork.org
Restored Hope Network is a coalition of ministries serving those who desire to overcome relational and sexual issues in their lives and those impacted by homosexuality. Restored Hope works alongside the body of Christ, the Church, and to connect those seeking help with local member ministries and other resources that are available, as well as support, equip and connect the local member ministries.

Complied by JBW

[1] The Four Phases of Counseling Model is referred to at this site’s Ministry Model page. See Exchanged Lives! (compilation of counselee testimonies) by John E. Best (Grace Fellowship International).

[2] The believer’s new past is taught in the GFI conferences and here: https://gracenotebook.com/could-you-use-a-new-past/

[3] See The Seven Steps to Freedom in Christ (Step 6) from The Bondage Breaker (Neil Anderson, www.FICM.org, Healing prayer: TransformationPrayer.org, and https://school.deeperwalk.com/

Spiritual Gifts in Romans 12

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There are various spiritual gift surveys and and study guides that have been published to assist believers in identifying and cultivating the use of spiritual gifts. The main Scripture passages are 1 Corinthians 12: 4-11, 28, Ephesians 4:11,12, 1 Peter 4:10,11, and Romans 12:4-8.

Romans 12 lists these seven gifts:

“Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them:

  • if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith;
  • or ministry, let us use it in our ministering;
  • he who teaches, in teaching;
  • he who exhorts, in exhortation;
  • he who gives, with liberality;
  • he who leads, with diligence;
  • he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” Romans 12:4-8 NKJV

About three decades ago my wife and I learned about the approach that views these seven gifts as motivational gifts. Each believer has one primary motivational “gift” / orientation. Although I have other books on spiritual gifts (including assessments), this model has been the most meaningful and relevant in our lives and ministry.[1] This teaching is presented effectively in the booklet Understanding Spiritual Gifts. The gifts outline is at https://iblp.org/what-are-seven-motivational-gifts/

Charles Stanley preached a series on this approach
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuWoOJDr62U
that is summarized at https://www.charleslstanley.com/motivational-gifts-putting-them-together/

The most comprehensive study on this topic is the book Discover Your God-Given Gifts: The Biblical Handbook to Help You Understand Your Personality and Serve God and Others More Fully by Don and Katie Fortune.

I recommend learning about motivational spiritual gifts for one’s own edification, to enhance teamwork, and as a resource for the follow up stage of Discipleship Counseling.

JBW

[1] Also, our friends, Hans and Elly Timmermans, include this teaching in their equipping process in Malawi, Africa. God has blessed the discipleship multiplication there that has reached tens of thousands. www.NorthernMalawiNews.com

Dove International just created an online assessment and offers a downloadable small group discussion guide: https://doveinternational.com/resources/assessments/motivational-gifts/

Good Grief

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How does abiding in Christ equip the believer to deal with loss? When we suffer personal bereavement, it reveals not only the value we place on who (or what) was taken away, but also the adequacy of the resources we are depending upon during our time of grief. We all face various kinds of loss as we travel on our pilgrimage:

  • the loss of others in death,
  • the loss of our health,
  • the loss of finances or possessions,
  • the loss of a friendship,
  • the loss of a job,
  • the loss of a marriage in divorce,
  • the loss of a pet…

Moving to a new job and community triggers a sense of loss of friends left behind. Our response to grief helps us evaluate what we are trusting in for security and fulfillment…
Read the rest of this article at Grace Note (“Dealing with Loss”) here.

Grief is a challenge everyone faces sooner or later, and is a need chaplains minister to regularly.

When grief becomes complicated (such as when the process is hindered) it becomes a presenting problem that may lead someone to seek Biblical counseling.

Suggested Resources

1. Mark and John discuss “Dealing with Grief” in episodes 61 and 62 of the Glimpses of Grace podcast.

2. Perhaps the most widely used turn key program for small groups is Grief Share, that features videos and a workbook. www.griefshare.org

3. The Exchanged Life Counseling track of GFI has the Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (by June Hunt) as one of the required books. One of the 50 topics covered in that book is dealing with grief.

4. Paul Billheimer’s book, Don’t Waste Your Sorrows, has a deeper life perspective.
“Billheimer encourages you not to waste your sorrows, but embrace them with an attitude that will ensure they produce God’s best in you. It will bring a brand-new joy and purpose to every circumstance that comes your way.” CLCpublications.com

5. Grief Rewritten is recent publication by our sister ministry, VCLI.org. It is “A 10-session journey that helps people experience God’s nearness in their deepest pain. Whether grief comes through the loss of a loved one, a broken relationship, a painful diagnosis, or the quiet death of a dream…
grief changes us. But with God, grief doesn’t have the final word—He does.” VCLI.org store

6. One of my favorite resources is the ministry of Music for the Soul. Their album on the grief journey is titled Drink Deep. It is very insightful and comforting. You can listen/share online, as a digital download, or purchase it as an audio CD. Music for the Soul.org

One of the indications we are handling grief from an Abiding Life relationship is that we seek to comfort others:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:3-4‬ ‭NKJV‬‬).

Although the grief journey varies according to the nature of the loss and one’s personality, knowing Jesus Christ as Lamb, Lord, Life, Liberator and Leader is always important to healing the emotional wounds redemptively.

JBW

Two Aspects of the Cross of Christ

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One of the distinctives of Exchanged Life Counseling is to discern two aspects of the Cross of Jesus Christ. In the Wheel digram we cover Christ’s death for us (the spiritual blessing of salvation) and Christ’s death unto sin to set us free from sin’s dominion relates to the Line digram teaching.

In his book, Milk and Honey Man (WinePress Publishing, 2010), William Troth presents this diagram:

Sample Scriptures for each aspect:

Jesus died for our sins: substitution
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring [f]us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit” (1 Pet. 3:18. cf. Rom. 5:1,8; Col. 1:14; 2:13,14).

Jesus died to sin: our sanctification
“knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with [rendered inoperative], that we should no longer be slaves of sin… For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 6:6, 10-11. cf. Rom. 6:3-11; 1 Cor. 1:30; Gal. 2:20).

May we be discerning and wise in communicating the fuller message of the Cross in discipleship and counseling. For a full length study of this topic see The Cross of Christ, by Dr. John Best (in paperback or ebook from GFI).

JBW

“The Old Man” has been Crucified with Christ: Ephesians 4:22 Reconsidered

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The interpretation of man’s essential nature as referenced in this exhortation in Ephesians 4:22-24 is pivotal to one’s view of sanctification. And this doctrine is essential to the biblical counseling model employed to guide a defeated Christian to victorious life in Christ.

“22 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, 23 and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24, NKJV.

The meaning of  “the old man”

A key issue to be clarified here is the meaning of “old man” in this context and how it contrasts with the “new man.”

As we check the Greek lexicon we see the basic definitions used in Ephesians 4:22. Old: “palaios” is an adjective meaning “old, ancient; no longer new” (Thayer). Vines Expository Dictionary states: “‘Old’ …of what belongs to the past, e.g., the believer’s former self before his conversion, his ‘old man.'”  “Man” is “anthropos” which occurs over 500 times. It means “a human being, whether male or female.” It has more precise uses also: “to distinguish man from beings of a different order; with reference to two fold nature of man, body and soul [material / immaterial]; with reference to the two fold nature of man, the corrupt [fleshly] and the truly Christian man [Spirit-filled], [which is] conformed to the nature of God (Thayer; bracketed words added).

To be precise, the “old man” is the unregenerate human spirit, i.e., who a person was in Adam as identified by his previous spiritual condition (death and depravity). This is an essential concept in order to differentiate the “old man” (which in the believer was crucified with Christ and is out of the picture) and the flesh (which is an ongoing nemesis – Gal. 5:16,17; Rom. 7:17).

Parallel passages

Romans 6:6: “knowing this, that our old man was crucified with [Him], that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin.”

Colossians 3:9: “Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds”

Notice that the other two texts view the old man as having been crucified and already “put off” (past tense).  Since the New Testament pattern is to present doctrine and then apply it to practical issues of life, the doctrinal underpinnings of Ephesians 4:22 need to be clear. In Ephesians chs 1-3 believers have been (past tense) saved, regenerated, and sealed by the Holy Spirit; they were raised with Christ and are seated with Him in the heavenlies! (Eph. 1:13; 2:1-10).

The figurative use of “the old man”

So if the old man is no longer the identity of the child of God, why does this text in Ephesians seem to view the old man as still present in the believer? It sounds like the old man has not actually  been”put off” or “crucified” yet; rather, the believer should do this. Yet, Ephesians 4:22 states “That you put off concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt (Greek: present passive participle) according to the deceitful lusts.”

A watershed issue in interpreting this verse (and its implications for progressive sanctification) is to recognize the figurative use of “old man” in this text. This figurative use, metonymy, uses one word for another that it suggests: i.e., the “old man” for the behavior of the “old man.”  Consider other examples of the use of metonymy.

  • Romans 13:14a counsels, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ…” Ontologically, Christ is in the believer (Col. 1:27) and in heaven. However this figurative expression refers to the believer putting on Christ’s virtues. And note how second half of the verse is similar to admonition of  putting off the behavior of the old man:  “…and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts” (Rom. 13:14b).
  • Another example of metonymy is the use of the term “the cross,” not as the literal wood structure (that has disappeared), but what Christ accomplished on the cross. “But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Gal. 6:14; cf.  Col. 1:20).

This figurative use of “old man” agrees with other New Testament usage. The Greek “apotithemi” means “to put off or aside or away.” It occurs eight times in the New Testament and refers to putting off clothing. This is the literal use in Acts 7:58: “…and the witnesses laid down [“apotithemi”] their clothes at a young man’s feet, whose name was Saul.” The other seven occurrences of this word refer to putting off wrong behavior using the imagery of putting off old, dirty clothing (Rom. 13:12; Eph. 4:22, 25; Col. 3:8; Heb. 12:1; James 1:21; 1 Pet. 2:1. This is also the way “put off” is used in Ephesians 4:22.

Robertson Word Pictures makes this comment on the Greek grammar of this verse: “That ye put away (apoyesyai). Second aorist middle infinitive of “apotiyhmi” with the metaphor of putting off clothing or habits as “apoyesye” in Col. 3:8 (which see) with the same addition of “the old man” (ton palaion anyrwpon) as in Col. 3:9.” So, putting off the “old man” in Ephesians 4:22 refers to putting off the behavior and attitudes associated with the “old man” (emphasis added).

Therefore, the term”old man” in Ephesians 4:22 is used in a qualitative sense, rather than technical sense. The qualitative use is brought out by the phrases before and after it. Note the word order in the verse. It does not begin with, “put off the old man,” but “…put off concerning your former conduct the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts.” The emphasis is on the wrong behavior to be set aside.

Read the rest of the revised article at GraceNotebook.com

J.B.W.

Overcoming Childhood Sexual Abuse

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As we provide care and counseling, it is not uncommon for the client to confide in us about his or her childhood sexual abuse. The CDC gives some statistics about this tragic experience and its typical consequences.

Many children wait to report or never report child sexual abuse. Therefore, the numbers below likely underestimate the true impact of the problem. Although estimates vary across studies, the research shows:

  • At least one in four girls and one in 20 boys in the United States experience child sexual abuse.
  • About 90% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone known and trusted by the child or child’s family members.

Outcomes

Experiencing child sexual abuse can affect how a person thinks, acts, and feels over a lifetime. This can result in short-and long-term physical, mental, and behavioral health consequences, such as…

Physical health consequences:

  • Sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
  • Physical injuries.
  • Chronic conditions later in life, such as heart disease, obesity, and cancer.

Mental health consequences:

  • Depression.
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms.

Behavioral consequences:

  • Substance use/misuse
  • Risky sexual behaviors
  • Increased risk for perpetration of sexual violence.
  • Increased risk for suicide or suicide attempts.
  • Experiencing child sexual abuse can also increase a person’s risk for future victimization.

https://www.cdc.gov/child-abuse-neglect/about/about-child-sexual-abuse.html

How can God use Spirituotherapy to bring healing, freedom and restoration to victims of sexual abuse? Here are some relevant issues related to the Christ centered counseling process.

Identity: There is a need to exchange a negative identity for a positive identity in Christ (Eph. 2:10). Although their body was violated, and their soul was wounded, the believer has a new, righteous spirit (Eph. 4:24).

Shame: Through the believer’s co-death and co-resurrection, shame can be left behind like removing the burial clothes of Lazarus (John 11:44).

Rejection: Through Christ-centered abiding, we accept our acceptance. God’s grace and love compensates us for human rejection (Eph. 1:6; Rom. 8:31-39).

Concept of God: If their view of God has been distorted, they need the freedom step of rejecting these lies and replacing them with truth about God’s goodness, love, and providence (Eph. 3:17-19).

Suffering: If they have been taught a distortion of God’s sovereignty (that even abuse is “God’s will”), then they need to adopt a spiritual warfare worldview (as revealed in the book of Job). God is not the author of sin, although He is faithful to overrule abuse as we turn to Him for renewal (James 1:13,17; Rom. 8:28,29).

The past: Often abuse casts a shadow on the survivor’s self image and relationships. Through the believer’s union with Christ we are in eternal life. Therefore we have a new spiritual past as well as a new future (2 Cor. 5:17).

Freedom steps: In the freedom in Christ process (“phase 3” in GFI’s 4 Phases model) the counselee learns to forgive by the power of the Holy Spirit, this being set free from bitterness and resentment (John 8:32; Eph. 4:32).

Healing prayer: There is also value in healing prayer. Whereas the truth encounter deals with applying God scriptural Word to replace known lies, healing prayer involves hearing God’s whisper that can grant deeper healing (1 Kings 19:12; Luke 4:18).

Helping others: In addition to counselee’s journeying through personal restoration, God invites them to overcome “by the Word of their testimony” and offer care and resources to others who have experiences similar trauma (Rev. 12:11; 2 Cor. 1:3,4).

Recently Cindy Waddell, a counselee and trainee of GFI, went to be with the Lord. Several months before that she sent us her story of childhood sexual abuse that includes the testimony of her healing journey through coming to know Christ as Savior, Lord, Life and Liberator. Her testimony has been posted here: Exchanging Shame for Dignity: A Testimony of Overcoming Severe Childhood Sexual Abuse.

And here is a concise brochure about helping those who have experienced childhood sexual abuse: Hope for the Heart Quick Reference brochure pdf.

May we be vessels of God’s compassion and provision when ministering to those who have experienced abuse.

JBW

Exchanged Life Marriage Counseling

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How is the Exchanged Life Counseling model used in marriage counseling? The short answer is that we believe the husband and wife need to step back and reframe the process. Instead of assigning blame, they both need to evaluate their relationship with God and learn how to abide in Christ for personal fulfillment. This would enable them to have a heart that is open to forgive, love, learn, and problem-solve.

Here is a document of notes of a lecture given on this topic in the Solomon School Lecture Series. Exchanged Life Marriage Counseling, J. Woodward

Some recommended resources

Video

  • The Life online video seminar by Dr Bill and Anabel Gillham is a classic. Session 2 describes how their “flesh” (self-life condition) was at the root of their early marital conflicts. Sessions 9,10,11 apply the Galatians 2:20 message to marriage enrichment. See the PDF notebook also al Lifetime.org
  • Bill Loveless created an on-demand webinar on The Key to a Christ-Centered Marriage. The videos and notebook are here. See www.christislifeministries.com/discipleship/studies/

Audio

  • GFI’s Glimpses of Grace audio podcast features Mark and John discussing a variety of topics. Episodes 19,48,71,72 relate to love in marriage.
  • Mark and Carrie McKeehan did an audio series based on a marital retreat they led: Cultivating a New Marriage. They alternate teaching sessions (MP3 audio download in GFI’s store).
  • A More Excellent Way features “his and hers” testimonies of Chuck and Nancy Missler of their marital restoration: “A More Excellent Way.” kingshighway.org/product-category/download/mp3/

Books

  • Setting Your Marriage Free, (original title: Christ Centered Marriage), by Neil Anderson and Charles Mylander
  • He Said, She Said, by Bill and Anabel Gillham
  • Marriage! The Journey: From Neediness and Myths to God’s Fulfillment, by Anne Trippe

Courses

GFI’s online course portal has two courses related to marriage. www.GraceStudyHall.org

  • A Graceful Body, by David Kuykendall gives a biblical, union-with-Christ study of the marriage relationship.
  • Build Your House on The Rock, by Dave Simmons is especially for the husband. It is filled with biblical, practical insights about the physical, psychological, and spiritual aspects of growing a healthy marriage.

Articles

Movies

  • Fireproof. Starring: Kirk Cameron, Erin Bethea and Ken Bevel. Directed by: Alex Kendrick
  • No Greater Love. Starring: Anthony Tyler Quinn, Danielle Bisutti, Jay Underwood

Week long intensive

Dr. Bob and Cheryl Moeller direct For Keeps Ministries. They have helpful books, articles, and online videos at forkeepsministries.com/
According to availability, they offer a week long intensive for couples in Nashville, Tennessee.

“…bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful” (Col. 3:13-15 NKJV).

Finally, an inspirational music video:

JBW

Prayer and Discipleship Counseling

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Prayer is a vital aspect of Abiding in Christ as well as in Discipleship Counseling. 

The counselor’s praying life is a facet of walking in the Spirit (Gal. 5:16). Prayer can be expressed silently and audibly before, during, concluding, and following counseling and discipline sessions—”pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17). 

The Lord Jesus modeled this spiritual communication with the Father through His example, throughout His ministry (Luke 3:21; 5:16; 6:12; 9:18,28,29; 11:1; 22:32,41), and in His high priestly prayer in John 17. 

Paul’s Holy Spirit-inspired prayers for the churches are relevant for the disciple and the discipleship counselor. Sometimes one of these prayers could be read to begin a session:

  • Ephesians 1:15-22; 3:14-21
  • Philippians 1:9-11
  • Colossians 1:9-14

Jennifer Kennedy Dean’s books have a grace and identity in Christ orientation. (She also discerned the spirit, soul and body model of man.) Her flagship book is  Live a Praying Life. It is also available in a workbook edition with DVDs.[1] (GFI’s weekly online Bible study will walk through the chapters beginning February 2,2026.)

Elmer Towns wrote the book, How God Answers Prayer. In an article on counseling he noted, “…a Christian counselor instinctively asks the question, what is the role of prayer? I suggest a three-fold role of prayer in counseling: (a) praying as the counselor for the client, (b) directing the client to pray for himself or herself, and (c) praying for the actual healing process.”[2]

Therapeutic prayer is taught in James 5:13-16: “Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (NKJV).

A collection of free resources on prayer is at MyPrayerHelps.com

Samuel’s farewell address conveys the pastoral heart of an intercessory leader: “Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. Only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you” (1 Samuel‬ ‭12:23-24‬ ‭ESV)‬‬

May we fully cooperate with the Holy Spirit Who aids us in praying for ourselves and those we disciple and counsel (Rom. 8:26,27).

[1] Jennifer Kennedy Dean, Live a Praying Life: Open Your Life to God’s Power and Provision (New Hope Publishers, 2011).

[2] Elmer Towns, “Prayer in Counseling,” in The Popular Encyclopedia of Christian Counseling. eds. Tim Clinton and Ron Hawkins (Harvest House, 2011), 143.

JBW